My Hair Dresser

Iya Jamal is my hair dresser and she is a face to face nice woman, but she never stops talking about all her customers.

She has a customer friendly character only when you stand in front of her, maybe she did a little bit of customer care while training as a hair dresser, but believe me, the moment you make your first 90degree turn, the colour of her eyes changes and her smile turns to a mocking pout, when you complete the remaining 90degree and head away, behold the story of your life is brought before the people of the world.

Then she starts, 'Na she dey go o, see as she be!.'

The customers seated will try to catch a glimpse of the Lady in question. Then one customer who first pretend not to be interested wee now use style and put mouth, 'Iya Jamal ahah, no curse the girl na. Wetin she do?'
Then Iya Jamal wee now leave my hair and start talking, 'Imagine o, she come my shop last week do hair, till today, I never see my money collect, she just dey post me dey post me dey post me...!'

'Maybe she never get nah...' This customer will begin to sound concerned, like she is feeling for the lady. Its a lie, she wants to hear more gist. That's how they use to do.

'Iro ni o, which kain she never get...' Iya Jamal wee now leave my side completely with a cutting comb dangling on one side of my hair, and stand in front of the other customers and begin to analyse the history of the poor lady, and the customers will be nodding and shaking their heads and saying lots of 'eyahs' and 'you don't mean it.'

Iya Jamal will leave me staring at the mirror with my undone hair staring back at me. Then I'll have no choice but to support my chin with my hands and give her enough time to gist finish and comman continue my hair.
Few minutes later she's back on my hair, she's detangling and combing and I am busy wincing in pain. I begin to think she's taking out the remainder of her anger on my hair, my poor virgin hair!

'Ha sisi mi, goan retouch your hair nau, sheybi ees paining you, abi issitnot paining you?' She pauses for a moment and then continues, '...Ah shoo retouch it for you? I wee do it free o.'

Eziokwu, so that you wee open and write my own table of contents abi? Shior!

I stare at her from the mirror, I manage a smile and remain mute, anything I say now can and will be used against me the moment I turn my back. But what's the point anyway, my hair will still be a topic of discussion in the end...

So I let out complaints when it hurt, I tell her this side of the braid is not fine please redo. She's smiling all through and saying words like 'Pele Oko mi, look at it, sheybi this one is good, ah wee do it small-small, don't worry if ees paining you tell me...'

She's acting all Mrs Nice Woman now, smiling and dancing around me, but not to worry, I know my fate, and I will know the fate of all these customers seated here the next time I come to make my hair.

Iya Jamal, she'll tell me everything, I know for sure.

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