MyAuntyNkechi: Episode 1 (The first meeting)

I have made few posts about my aunty Nkechi on Facebook, but today, I have decided to make it a series, so that you, and you, and you, can realize what a 'wonderful' person I have as an aunt.

Aunty Nkechi is a distant family friend, she's closer to my mum but then I have no idea what connection they both have. I only took notice of her the day she spoilt business for me, my long term business that has been yielding good seeds. That day I died. Literally.

I had this tactics I generated for myself to enjoy more benefits from my parents.

It has always been a norm in our house, that any sick child gets a bottle of malt and a can of milk, the idea was a malt and milk mixture as a substitute for blood tonic before any treatment follows. I, myself, was the only child who saw this as a plant yielding fruit, an opportunity per se.

My siblings didn't see this opportunity with me, I didn't tell them either, I didn't want anyone tapping into my pot of wisdom, I discovered it, I should have it all.

Every two weeks I feigned ill, mummy will send my brother to buy malt and milk, and I will finish it, I didn't share this loot with anyone, I planned this and executed it alone, so why shouldn't I enjoy the fruit of my labour.

This went on for weeks and then months, it became a habit, a habit no one considered to be fraud. It was my own time, I should enjoy.

So a certain day, a Saturday evening like that, (lemme note something here before I continue, I have an abnormal body temperature, I am always warm and sometimes I get all 'hot up', and it has nothing to do with fever or some sort, but that's just the way my body is programmed) mummy said someone was visiting, 'my sister from another mother' mummy termed it, so we had to prepare and cook for her, she was important, mummy hadn't seen her in years.

You know, there's always something so common about giving malt as a form of refreshment to visitors, yeah, it a norm in almost every gathering.

I knew mummy would entertain this visitor with malt, but then I have to have my own share of the national cake, how can I go through all the trouble of preparing for an 'unwanted' guest only for me to be at the receiving end without benefit, mba kwa! I can't take it.
I waited patiently for this visitor to arrive our house, I had to be patient if I wanted to carry out the plan.

Hours later, I was welcomed with noise coming from the parlour, the noise of two jubilant women, obviously, the long awaited visitor was here. For the sake of formality, I had to join the women in the parlour.

I was expecting to see a woman my mothers age, but no, this woman looked way younger, I later learned she was in her early thirties. Mummy introduced me to her, and told me how they had met years ago, it was there I was informed that the visiting lady had an elder sister that was best friends with my mummy before her demise some three years ago.
The women gisted, and laughed over many things.

Then the time for item 7 came, mummy gave me money to first get malt for Aunty Nkechi (that was her name) and afterwards serve the food.

I had bought the malt and set the table, it was time to make a move and carry out my plan.
I like clinging to my mum, I cling to her in such a way that she feels the hotness of my body and becomes alarmed at my body temperature. I love to do that, that was a surer way of getting my loot without altering a word.

'Chineke me'e! Amaka, why is your body hot like this?'

For a moment I chose to be quiet, I also have to act sick and sound like 'cat gat my tongue', I was an expert.

All the while I was displaying my tactics, this visitor was looking at me with one eye, me, I didn't notice. What's her business with what I do with my mother anyway, issit her mother?
Mummy was about reaching for her purse when the loud mouth visitor interfered.

'What is wrong with her?' She asked.

'I think she has fever and malaria, her body is hot.' Mum replied still going through her purse for some change.

Aunty dropped her cutlery and called my mums attention.

'Sister eh, have you tried bitterleaf water, it works for everything o'.

I quenched!

Mummy stopped looking through her purse and stopped to stare at Nkechi. 'Ehnehnehn? Is that so? Tell me about it, cos this my daughters fever comes in every two weeks, and doctors haven't seen anything that is wrong with her'

'Two weeks you say?' Aunty Nkechi sounded alarmed as she stared at me. 'What fifty naira olugbo will cure now now now!'

My heart was raising, I hate the sound of where all this noise was leading, but then, mummy got all interested and was nodding like an agama lizard. My heart was crying just watching my mum digest aunty Nkechi's words, hook, line and sinker.

You don't want to know what happened next.

I just remembered I stopped sitting close to my mum or clinging to her like I use to for fear that my body temperature would no longer save me.

Aunty Nkechi came and stole my heart away, and it broke the moment I realized there was absolutely nothing I could have done to save my malt and milk ministry.

That was how my endless encounters with aunty Nkechi began.
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