Writers Crib

Before now, it was easy to tell who a thief or a pick pocket was. You could tell from their dressing, unkempt hair styles, the way they look at you with one kain eye, you could even point out to those guys seated under the bridge to be thieves, it was so easy. But today, the system has changed. It isn't as easy as it used to be. You can't tell who a thief is and who is being 'thiefed' cos everybody is now opening eye. You stand on a queue with a well dressed man in tie. He mistakenly brushes your side while trying to adjust himself to fit properly on the line. You flare, you think he's trying to rob you. 'Oga wetin nah!' He looks at you, he tries not to feel intimidated. He doesn't know what he has done but he reacts anyway. 'What's your problem?' He asks with his eyes wide open. In his mind, he says to himself, "People wee think ayam touching her bumbum nau, so lemme kuku react". Lass-lass you eye him from head to toe a...

Yesterday I had this irking feeling to go drown myself in the nearest lagoon, no I wasn't depressed, there seemed to be more solace in drowning, there seemed to be more peace and comfort, so on my own, I decided to do it, you know just end it all and start over in the new world. If ever there was. So tonight I waited, I waited till everyone was in bed, then tucked my pillow so well it looked really like me covered in my blanket. I knew mother would come check me later, she always does that to all of us, all five of us. It was exactly 12:04am when I successfully climbed over our fence, Dauda our guard was so deep he didn't hear me kick over his torchlight that came rolling over down to the other end of the compound... With all that noise, he didn't Fletch. 'Foolish man!' I muttered 'So this is how you've been guarding this house'. I walked few meters away from the house and kept encouraging myself that I was doing the right thing, death was the onl...

I had peeped through the window twice already to see whose hone was blaring, but again I was disappointed,  it wasn't my husband. The first two times were the hones of my neighbours who had returned home earlier than usual on the request of their wives or as a surprise formulae to enhance their romantic selves, I wished Nnanna would for once do the same, maybe emulate the good features of his fellow men. I sat on the next available cushion clutching my phone like my heart depended on it and peeping through the window every now and then, the temptation to dial his number again was staring me in the face, he had warned me never to call him more than twice in a day, I was just too worried to remain calm. If I miss this day, I and Nnanna might have to kiss this year goodbye and wait till next year again before we can continue trying to have a child, its been six years already. My phone beeped, no, it wasn't my husband. 'Ada, it has to be tonight o, make sure you're se...