Writers Crib

 It's few weeks to my birthday, and I've got butterflies in my tummy. I know, I understand this feeling, it happens, at everytime my birthday came running. I remember I use to write stuff a day before my day, a recount of what the year had been for me, outlining my good and bad times, putting into words my beautiful moments and sometimes, just crying half way through... (Sneak peek: never keep a diary if all you record is your sad moments) Phew! The feeling of getting older is real, mixed feelings here and there, anxiety, sober reflections, and yunno, thinking about things I didn't get in the end. Today, I'm penning down my thoughts, I want to talk about a few things, how getting old feels to me, but again, I have tears tingling in my eyes, because, somehow, I have lost out on a lot of things, things I wish I had... Life just makes you feel unsatisfied, but I have learned to be contented, and bask in the euphoria that I can't have everything I wish for, not to sound

Today I am sad, and it hurts so much to feel this way. I wish things were better, brighter and smoother. I know I haven't come here in a while to rant, it feels so different doing it now. A lot has happened since the last time, a lot has changed about me too, okay, I got better, that's good news huh? 🤗 2019 ended with a bang, I was super excited about all the things that came through for me. I made new friends at the NYSC camp, amongst them, I met three pharmacists, I call them 'the boys from Uyo' (one day, I'd write about them). I met Ebube too, a serial photo editor and a photographer, she was the lady next bunk, the lady who's now closer than a friend. I know one day we'd sit on a round table and talk about how our dreams came through. Away from the introduction, it's been four month into 2020. The year didn't start with so much joy as I had expected, I gave up on a relationship with someone I really loved, it pinched me, it left me absent

Everyday of my life I strive to be better, to do better and to improve from where I use to be to a step closer to where I really want to get to. Its a tiring process I must confess. Along the line, depression sets in , frustration and a whole lot of ugly looking scenarios raises its head. Phew. Living is a hard thing to do. Its been about four months since I ventured into a new career path, maybe one day, I'll write about it, my journey and the people I met in the process of becoming a tech woman. I haven't really achieved so much for a woman approaching her mid twenties 😂, its a worrisome age for me, you know, 25 and still very single. The pressure of getting married begins to sink deep, I really don't know what age 25 has to do with getting married 😣. The society I come from thinks 25 is the ripe age for marriage, well, I dunno. I remember saying I wanted to be married at 22, raise a family on time and retire at an early age with businesses and investments workin

 When I tell people I am not a 'feminist', they go 'you can't be serious' on me 😂. I have a very small circle, my circle knows how much I try to work hard and try many other stuffs too. So with that, the 'she must be a feminist' becomes the line on everyone's lips. I. Am. Not. A. Feminist. I am first human before anything else, and I've grown into the understanding that I have a right to my choice, not yours or any others but mine, my own choice. Right to make my own decisions and live by them. I am a woman who will gun for everything that pleases her. How people see this as being a feministic nature is something I don't understand. I understand women have been put in places where they shouldn't be, that we have been placed below the belt, that our strength has been undermined and our lights dimmed because we are women. I also understand that the surrounding in which I am raised see's women as weaker vessels, that we shouldn&

Lately, this has been the trend, depression then suicide. The first time I wrote about depression, I didn't know what it meant to experience depression first hand. Okay, over the years, I've been worrying myself out, 2015 was one of such years, I was just worrying and not suffering from depression, but in 2018 February, I went through the very first hand experience of depression, so yes, I've been there and I can talk about it. When I first wrote about depression, I didn't think depression was enough reason for anyone to take his or her life (it still think its not though). But yeah, people go through a lot everyday, like every damn day! No, its not right to throw blames at them, no, it's not okay to become a judge and passing judgement like 'she shouldn't have killed herself, he shouldn't have jumped into the lagoon, yen yen yen!'. Social media has made it a point of duty for anyone with an access to the internet to become Lord and saviour ove

This is for my friend Pharez 😢 I lost Pharez sometime between February and March. I didn't find out about his death till December. And when I found out he died, I couldn't fight back tears, where was I all through the months that passed by. What was I doing, did I stop caring or did I not care at all? Pharez and I shared four years of friendship. He always reached out to me, ALWAYS. Wanting to know how I was faring, if I was okay, if I needed help on something, he was everything a true friend should be. He cared so much his brother thought we had something going on between us, but no, we were just friends, just good friends. I got a nick name too, AdaPharez. The last time I lost contact with him, he had left the country to somewhere not too far away, can't remember the country now, so his lines weren't going through. When he came back, he reached out to me, told me he travelled and needed some alone time to fix things, I understood, we all need some alone time so