Birthday Butterflies

 It's few weeks to my birthday, and I've got butterflies in my tummy. I know, I understand this feeling, it happens, at everytime my birthday came running.

I remember I use to write stuff a day before my day, a recount of what the year had been for me, outlining my good and bad times, putting into words my beautiful moments and sometimes, just crying half way through... (Sneak peek: never keep a diary if all you record is your sad moments)

Phew! The feeling of getting older is real, mixed feelings here and there, anxiety, sober reflections, and yunno, thinking about things I didn't get in the end.

Today, I'm penning down my thoughts, I want to talk about a few things, how getting old feels to me, but again, I have tears tingling in my eyes, because, somehow, I have lost out on a lot of things, things I wish I had...

Life just makes you feel unsatisfied, but I have learned to be contented, and bask in the euphoria that I can't have everything I wish for, not to sound in the negative, I can only work towards getting things right for me.

I am thinking of what special thing to do, but I recount I'm not a party person. For each year in the past three years, I've learnt to gift myself something, something new, maybe something out of the bucket list in my gallery of screenshots.

I have come a long way y'all, I am even shocked at myself, at my strength, at my grit and resilience.

There are somethings I wish were, but they weren't, but it's okay, life didn't come with a manual to spell out all life rules to me.

 I have come to accept defeat, and know when to stop, go back to the drawing board, prepare better and come back to fight, for myself, for the future I want. 

I'm grateful for the people in my life, I may not have been this person I am today but for them who changed and reoriented me to see life from the flip side.

I know it will be a beautiful year for me, I just know, because I am gonna be switching a lot to my playful side you might never know I have a work life, anything to keep this young girl happy, I will.

I'm not gonna make any promises for the new year, naahhhhhh uhm-uhm! Cos we living each day as it comes, taking in the good times and wading off the bad times like it never happened.

Last year, the slogan was to fail forward, it hasn't changed for the new year too, just that we're adding E for Energy and turning our Ls to Lessons, because Life itself is a lesson, we learn everyday❤️.


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