Writers Crib

Iya Jamal is my hair dresser and she is a face to face nice woman, but she never stops talking about all her customers. She has a customer friendly character only when you stand in front of her, maybe she did a little bit of customer care while training as a hair dresser, but believe me, the moment you make your first 90degree turn, the colour of her eyes changes and her smile turns to a mocking pout, when you complete the remaining 90degree and head away, behold the story of your life is brought before the people of the world. Then she starts, 'Na she dey go o, see as she be!.' The customers seated will try to catch a glimpse of the Lady in question. Then one customer who first pretend not to be interested wee now use style and put mouth, 'Iya Jamal ahah, no curse the girl na. Wetin she do?' Then Iya Jamal wee now leave my hair and start talking, 'Imagine o, she come my shop last week do hair, till today, I never see my money collect, she just dey post me de...

Why do people commit suicide in the first place?  For whatever reason, suicide is not justified. 😫 Its heart breaking when I wake each morning to meet disturbing news about suicidal attempts and deaths rolls of homicide, ayam tired 😢. We are humans, we ache, we bleed, we break, sometimes we refuse to get mend, we let our wounds open the more, we do not treat it, not because we don't know where to go but because we do not even trust who we want to go to, even now, a problem shared makes Facebook headlines. 😞 There was a time in my life, I was depressed, I was always depressed, bothered, disturbed, I didn't know if I truly needed help, I didn't think there was someone out there who could help, I kept to myself, I toiled in my thoughts, had series of sleepness nights, but there was one thing I always reminded myself, "Ammie, no matter how bad things are, don't ever think of killing yourself, don't you even dare!" I gave my self that stern warning...

When I was very much younger, I had this habit of wanting to be sick, not only was it a hobby, it was a joyous thing.😃 In my house then, there was one thing peculiar to falling sick, falling sick meant you would finish a whole bottle of malt and a full tin of three crown milk, only you! 😊 To achieve my mischievous act, mummy's hand dryer always came in handy, all I had to do was wait for NEPA, plug and heat myself up. I would feel my temperature with my hands and nod in satisfaction, it was hot enough to be mistaken for fever.😏 "Mummy ayam sick, see my temperature is very high." I usually let mummy feel my head, i let her feel it twice, at least for her to know I wasn't joking.😝 "Chukwudi, come and buy malt and milk for your sister..." Then the other medications would follow. My mischief was always a success, so it became a regular affair, every two weeks I was running a temperature, and for every temperature, malt and three crown ...

Humans; we tremble at almost everything, ranging from a common housefly to a crawling cockroach, from kitchen rats to a wall gecko, yes, we tremble at the sight of a spider, tremble when we hear the hooting of an owl, tremble when there's a whirl wind, tremble when it suddenly begins to rain... We tremble at the sound of our own heart beats, at the sight of our shadow, we still tremble. Sometimes we get scared of the things we shouldn't place too much concern on. So today, let's discuss, tell me what you're afraid of. Growing up. I was scared of me. I was scared of expressing myself, scared of doing the things that made me happy, the things my heart so much wanted. I was scared of the advice's I gave but yet won't take none of it for myself. I was scared of the unpredictable things the Me in Me could do. On a scale of 1-10, the fear that lived in me was 8/10. The fear in me gained more weight than my dreams and aspirations. So I thought to m...

Monday 11:00am Growing up, I had the opportunity of watching young boys play local football, you know, the normal stone goal post and khaki ball. I would seat at the pavement of the customs officers big yellow house, just there watching my brother play football with the other children in the area. The next thing you will hear is eye-ball, eyeball, eyeball! What's that? So with time I got to understand what eyeball meant. If the ball went a little too high above the ground through the goal post, it is not considered a goal but considered eyeball! Eyeball always caused problems, it always made the boys fight. It is eyeball. It is not eyeball. Are you mad?, don't you have eyes?. It is you that is mad, it is you that don't have eyes. Somto sheybi you see the ball, see na, e pass like this, like this o, and this mumu is saying is eyeball. Then one punch will just fly from somewhere and hit somebody. Who is mumu? Is like you're mad abi?. And the person who has ...

Saturday Dec., 5 2015 Its about 26 days to 2016, 26 days to another new year. New year is full of new resolutions, the small-small promises and cranky decisions we make in our closet; the 'I will do this' and the 'I will never do this again' will soon flood the timeline of our minds as we approach the dawn of the new year come 2016. How many of our new year resolutions have we kept anyway? Truth be told, I can't remember keeping a resolution I made on a new year, I can only remember defaulting all the promises I had made, infact, in defaulting new year resolutions, I top the list! Resolutions are not magic, they don't just work because it was made on the first day of a new year, if you don't practise your supposed changed attitude, your attitude will never change. Today, I thought about it, the tiny-tiny things I'd promise never to do again, the people I'd promise not to hurt, the achievements I wanted for 2015, the places I wanted to visit...

Today for the first time I worked out. Mehn! I saw the back of my head, I never knew how tough it was until today. I envied those who did early morning jogging but not for once did I think I would try. Felix called me to come jog with him, at first I felt reluctant, but then he told me it would be fun, Ibrahim agreed to come along too. So the three of us set out... When we started, I felt my heart already thundering, my eyes were already spining, 'who send you message' was the first thing that came to my head. Just in the middle of my thoughts, I fell. I fell belly flat, smeared my palm and ankle on the hard ground and it began to bleed immediatly. My phone too, I gave it a pretty bad shape. The first few seconds, I remained on the ground laughing, the last time I fell this way was when I was still a child. Felix and Ibrahim turned and ran back to lift me up. 'We haven't even gone anywhere and you're falling. You don't stop, that's the essence of worki...